if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize