I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
