I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
