Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
