Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i believe in u and ur pee
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
