dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
false alarm. still invincible.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
