Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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