So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I need a beard to bite.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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