theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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