i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
