dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
