dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
