Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
