Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize