so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
