why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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