I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
