You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize