3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize