So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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