I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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