sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
