FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize