I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
