It's Friday. Sex?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
