Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize