I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
