Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
