Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
