I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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