i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize