Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
