You smell like stripper and shame
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
smell my finger.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize