he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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