i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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