Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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