Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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