I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's blow job season.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
