i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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