Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
