I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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