Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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