VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
