yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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