Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
