the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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