ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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