It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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