im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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