I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
