she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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