Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize