oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
