The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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