Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
