the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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