idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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