Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
