Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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