He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
