whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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