i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
