these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
