PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
