remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize