So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
