even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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