I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
