Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
