I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
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