He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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