I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
