Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
