somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
