Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
